Well, it’s October 31st and it’s been a while since I was on North American soil for Halloween.  I saw a few kids in my neighborhood going door-to-door as I was driving out for a night meeting.  The cutest was a little kid — must’ve been about 3 or 4 years old — dressed in a bunny suit; kid was so happy that s/he was skipping along while holding mom’s hand.  So adorable.

I get to my meeting site at about 7:30pm.  Five of us have gathered to discuss a few topics regarding the church’s worship ministries.  I felt privileged to be included in this mix, having only been back for a few months and not officially an appointed worship leader yet.  But it looks like that’s about to change.  I’ve been regularly playing the bass for worship, which I’ve thoroughly enjoyed; I’ve also subbed as a drummer for a couple of weeks.  There’s a new bass player coming in who’d like to commit to being a regular; so, I’ve been asked to become a primary drummer from here on out.  Interesting.   I’m certainly hoping for a fast learning curve on this one!

From the results of tonight’s discussion, it also looks like my break time as worship leader is over.  A new schedule is coming in December and I sense that I’m going to be a regular worship leader on Sunday mornings.  I’ve never felt more insecure about this.  All I can say about this is that I often feel cursed to being an alto stuck in a soprano world.  It’s frustrating when you feel that there’s so much within you that you want to give…but you can’t give it naturally.  This is not even about stepping out of one’s comfort zone; it’s about being asked to conform to something that one is not wired physically to do.

Inadequacies and insecurities about vocal ranges…who better to bring these to than Jesus himself.   I’d like to think that Jesus fancies altos worship, too…that — from time to time — he’d like the break from high shrills and the over stretching high pitch tones of sopranos / high tenors and receives the underdogs’ worship.  He appreciates the velvety and soothing vocal ranges of what only alto and med-range tones can provide.

Well, the musings for tonight in sum is: Roxy my bass is back in her case after an amazing three months of service; drumsticks are now to be my new primary expression instrumentally; and no more benching around as a worship leader…it’s back in the game in one month’s time, along with the inadequacies and insecurities.

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